Last night, I stood on the highest peak of an uninhabited island in the Aegean sea. I yelled and cried and orgasmed through my feelings. Witnessed solely by the sun and the sea.
As I climbed up the steep rocks,
tears streamed down my face
and I gathered sticks and
shells and flowers, to create
an offering. An alter to whatever
goddess may still inhabit the land…
There was a point where I didn’t see a way to go any higher, but then four goats appeared on the rocks above me and I trusted their hidden path.
When I made it to the top, I was filled with a deep sense of accomplishment for persevering. It was mixed with the sadness I carried.
I found a hidden space between
tall rocks and created a small alter,
asking for wisdom and guidance,
singing my prayers for a sign.
A looked down off the cliff’s edge
and a hawk soared far below me.
A messenger of decisive action,
leadership, and inner guidance.
The representative of the soul
and guardian of the earth.
I picked up the heaviest stone I could lift, embedding it with my fears and throwing it off the cliff edge. I thought back to a long ago conversation with Michael Hrostoski about the power of working with stones.
I then laid down upon a rock and bared my yoni to the sun, transmuting pain into pleasure. Feeling the freedom of expressing completely in this open, yet unseen, place.
As the sun was setting and the crescent moon was rising, I made my way back down the mountainside, to the place where earth meets water.
My clothes had dried on the journey,
yet the sea held the only
path back to the boat.
So I dove back into the her,
letting her surround
and cleanse me.
Salty tears washed away by saltier water.
Constriction washed away by expansiveness.
Soothed by her embrace.
Purified by her waters.
I share all of this as a reminder that we are all on our journeys of processing and unfolding...and it doesn't make me or you or anyone less capable or worthy.
Even sitting in one of the purest seas, surrounded by magical beings; things can and very well may arise.
Sometimes, these magical situations are actually the biggest revealers and catalysts.
(Photo taken by Darya Haitoglou-Popova as I floated in the sea just hours before.)