One of the essential elements of an
integrated s∈x-life/relationship with your body
is only being entered when the body
is wholly ready and receptive.
My loves - it is your sovereign responsibility
to only allow your body to be entered
when you are truly ready to be.
When each cell in your body is a
resounding YES and you've become
a beckoning invitation!
For when we allow ourselves to be entered
before this point, we program an unhealthy
relationship with our body our body by
essentially telling her, “I don’t care about
your readiness, you are not safe to
convey your timing, and I won’t
listen either way.”
(To be clear, this is referring solely to aligned, consensual dynamics. My heart aches with the awareness that countless women still encounter scenarios where they have no choice in the matter and this makes it all the more vital that women who DO stop overriding their body’s truths.)
Every woman I have worked with around
this topic can think back to many scenarios
in which they overrode their body asking for
more time before being entered. For most
women, in fact, this is actually what's
occurring in the majority of their
encounters (including during
And know that I also speak on this from
experience here as, for many years,
I was one of them…
So - if we know our bodies aren’t
actually ready, why do we push through
and allow ourselves to be entered/
enter ourselves too soon?
3 Common Reasons:
≗ Mentally, we think we are a yes,
but our bodies “just aren’t cooperating”
at the moment, so we choose to make
the body comply with the mind, pushing
past any tightness/resistance/pain.
≗ We feel guilty that a partner has been
doing "all the right things” for a long
period of time and we still aren’t
responsiveness and we don’t
want them to feel bad.
≗ There is only a small window of time to
engage with ourself/another so instead of
trusting the timing and working with our body
patiently, we force the timeline.
While it might give you the instantaneous gratification of pleasure, as I began to speak into above, this pattern creates deep distrust with your yoni (vagina/vulva/womb). You are essentially telling your body she is not safe with neither you nor your partner. Subtle trauma is introduced both physically and energetically, which compounds each time you choose it. And for those who already have traumatic yonic imprinting from past experiences, it can be far more serious.
What to Do Instead:
⋖ Spend some time reflecting back
and get clear if this is indeed a pattern.
⋖ Sincerely apologize to your body
for the times it has occurred -
this often will look like a deep
grieving process and
⋖ Commit to yourself/your body
that you will no longer allow yourself
to be entered/enter her before she’s
fully ready. (Even doing a “trial” for
a just few weeks will give you
time to get to know her more.)
⋖ Explain to your partner(s) that you’re
going to be working a new practice and
share a bit about what it will look like,
to offer a smoother transition
as you create the boundary.
⋖ Learn your body’s signals/
⋖ Tune in so deeply when you are with
yourself/another, that you can literally
feel a pulsing invitation to be penetrated -
the full-bodied yes!
⋖ Above all - be gentle with
yourself as you navigate this new
way of engaging. There is no need
to add self-shame on top of it all.
(There is so much more depth in this process that I can hardly even begin to encapsulate it in this one post. We dive deep into the practices so that you can learn art of listening fully to to your body in my online group courses. While none are currently enrolling, I do invite you to stay tuned or message me about future ones, if you feel a call in your womb. xo)
And, while this share was obviously directed toward those receiving, another is brewing for those who are doing the entering!
I’m curious for any souls willing to share, what has your relationship been with listening to your body and receiving?
?: captured by my love, Matthew Ayriss, when I realized I didn't have a photo to go with this post. I feel so supported by this man!